United Served Me a Polaris® Meal So Awful a Stray Dog Wouldn’t Touch It

United Airlines has the worst catering of any US airline in its international Business Class. It might even take the crown for the most disgusting chow served to premium passengers in the world. While flying from Taiwan Taoyuan International Airport (TPE) to San Francisco International Airport (SFO) today, I was reminded why I have compared past Polaris® (Business Class) meals to prison food. Unfortunately, that was being too kind. This is more akin to something you would pull out of a dumpster behind a Denny’s. The meal had me thinking about the dogs I saw roaming around Manila. I hate to say it, but I think they would have passed on what was catered.

If you were to read the menu without seeing the food, you might think it sounds good. United has hired rather creative writers to handle the task of penning the prose for its menus. Today’s flight offered the following:

Welcome Snack

“A selection of premium roasted mixed nuts, lightly seasoned and served warm to complement your cocktail.” This part, I’d agree with and say that the nuts were warm and seasoned.

Appetizer

This is where things began to go down hill. There were two choices: Sautéed Prawns with mixed vegetable slaw and white carrot miso vinaigrette and Buffalo Mozzarella with pickled asparagus salad and roasted garlic vinaigrette. The “Prawns” were only about twice the size of my thumbnail and did not smell right. The “Buffalo Mozzarella” looked fine, but the accompanying vegetables were odd. United used to have a bread basket where multiple choices of warm bread were served. On this flight, that was replaced with a single cold, brown dinner roll (I did not eat that).

Salad

A salad was also on the tray. It was better than the old bowls of cabbage that United was serving. It was described as “Baby Greens Salad with roasted cherry tomatoes, marinated artichoke hearts, shaved Parmesan, and balsamic vinaigrette dressing.” If you were counting, this is the third type of vinaigrette served in this meal. Did United’s caterer get a discount for buying vinegar in bulk?

Entrée

Moving on to the main course. The pièce de résistance. The part of the meal that should be savored. I can’t say that I have ever been high enough to feel that any of these phrases were fitting. I pre-ordered the “Beef Tenderloin with celery root purée, sautéed spinach and zucchini, and three pepper demi-glace.” What I got was something that was overcooked and tasted metallic. It left my tongue burning and was one of the most unpleasant pieces of meat I have ever tasted. If there ever was something that would make me think about once again becoming a vegetarian, it was this “steak.” I’m not sure if the meat was bad, someone seasoned it with dish detergent, or if this is what United had in mind, but it was so unbelievably bad. It also looked like a budget TV dinner. I kept thinking catering by Swanson’s Hungry-Man.

Dessert

There were three options for dessert: Signature Ice Cream Sundae, Dessert Plate (Chocolate Cheesecake today), or the Artisan Cheese Plate. I opted to taste the Chocolate Cheesecake. And, it was fine. There was nothing good or bad about it. I guess I was hungry after not eating most of the rest of my meal.

Anthony’s Take: I took this flight because it could get me home earlier than the Delta one I had scheduled a few days later. The routing was great. It was expensive as it was purchased two days before the flight, but getting home is what I needed. The flight attendants and the purser, Philip, in particular were so kind. They know how bad the food is and are embarrassed to be serving it. There were apologies all around even though there is nothing they can do about the catering. Around half of the cabin opted out of the meal. That’s not a good sign on a daytime flight. Do I think United will fix its catering soon? No. It has been years and United’s CEO thinks it’s good enough and cheap enough to keep serving this slop. I book United based on schedule as I fly all three of the major US airlines now, but I wish the meals would be better. Domestic First Class has better food. If United could get meals down, the airline would be on its way to being the best. The route network, app, fleet (especially with upcoming additions), and many of the crews already are there.

(Featured Image Credit: The Bulkhead Seat edited with dog added from Fly_dragonfly via iStock.)