Trans Actress Argues With Delta Gate Agent and Gets Shut Down

by Anthony Losanno
Delta Gate Agent LGA

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Delta was trending on Twitter/X earlier today, so I had to click to find out why. Apparently, a trans actress named Tommy Dorfman got into an argument with a Delta gate agent at LaGuardia Airport (LGA) late last week over perceived slights and misgendering by another gate agent. In my opinion, the employee handled the situation well and I applaud how calm he remained.

@tommy.dorfman

when you try to advocate for yourself at @delta and are met woth even more transpbobia and threats of being arrested at laguardia. tristan, the employee, said he was fine with me posting this. didnt realize it was condescending to flag a human rights violation after another employee misgendered me incessantly.

♬ original sound – tommy.dorfman

I’m gay and a proud member of the LGBTQ+ community. I have no issues with however anyone identifies and I look to be respectful of pronouns and gender identity. This is not always easy as people do not always present in a way that makes it obvious to know their preferred pronouns. It’s unknown what was said before the video starts, but I have to say that the gate agent seems polite and remains calm throughout the exchange.

Many on Twitter/X have taken this video as a way to bash trans people or talk about wokeness. It’s impossible to know what happened earlier in the situation, but many are saying that Dorfman was looking for trouble and to try to create a situation where there wasn’t one. I wasn’t even sure who Dorfman was, but looked her up and she is best known for playing Ryan Shaver in 13 Reasons Why on Netflix.

A Delta spokesperson told Newsweek:

We’re aware of the video and looking into the matter, including reaching out to our customer to understand more about what occurred.”

When I meet new people, I take cues from them. If they don’t say their pronouns, I’ll default to their name or they/them to be safe. As in, “They just took us through the training” or “I already notified them that we’re making a change.” It’s simple and respectful. Using pronouns that might differ from what you’d expect someone to use can make them feel uncomfortable, but they should also be ready to share what pronouns they want you to use and forgive you if initially you use the wrong ones.

Anthony’s Take: We only see part of the story, but the employee seems professional and polite. Many people struggle with understanding sexual orientation and gender identity. I feel it’s up to everyone to learn more, keep an open mind, and ask questions to better educate themselves.

(Featured Image Credit: @tommy.dorfman via TikTok.)

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15 comments

Jesda Gulati December 26, 2023 - 9:04 pm

People can identify however they wish but if they truly believed in empathy they’d understand that it’s impossible to expect other people to immediately KNOW their identification, especially if they come across as a mixture of genders. This is a weird form of social terrorism. I look Mexican but I’m not Mexican. Do I get mad and talk about killing myself? Fuck no. I dont consider traits to be insults because I’m not insane.

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Not Them December 26, 2023 - 11:58 pm

If you referred to me as “them” I would be outraged.

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Kevin Sayers December 28, 2023 - 5:46 pm

I think they/them are all suffering from severe mental illness and need immediate physiological assessment as soon as possible.

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Billy Bob December 26, 2023 - 10:36 pm

I am always looking for the next Thing to be outraged about, and because I couldn’t really find it here, I am outraged!

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BillyBubba December 27, 2023 - 1:11 pm

I am outraged by outrage. It really pisses me off!!!

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Ben December 27, 2023 - 3:44 am

Using they/them as default can be extremely hurtful to binary people, specially binary trans folks who have tried really hard to present as a certain gender and now will wonder if they don’t pass enough for you to use a non-binary pronoun as opposed to how they hoped to present

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Reasonable person December 27, 2023 - 4:18 pm

I think they/them should be the default for all folks. In the situation you provided, that requires one actually assuming a gender right from the get go, which can be problematic.

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Sub December 27, 2023 - 7:14 am

How about we don’t gaf about your gender, sexuality, or anything else about you. We’re trying to board a plane, cause that’s our job. This idxot took the opportunity to make everything about him/her/it, raging narcissist in full effect.

Most people, gay straight trans whatever, don’t behave like mxronic attention seeking children. Overwhelmingly, people are just sick of this crap.

Live your weird life, we don’t gaf.

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Carl December 27, 2023 - 12:23 pm

Exactly!

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BillyBubba December 27, 2023 - 1:13 pm

Talk about First World problems…

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photog1234 December 27, 2023 - 6:19 pm

It’s just easier not to talk to them at all. Then I’ll never get it wrong.

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Identity Crisis December 27, 2023 - 10:09 pm

If you want to identify yourself as a giraffe, knock yourself out. That doesn’t mean I also have to depart from reality and call you a giraffe.

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C0mm0nS3ns3 December 28, 2023 - 3:54 pm

This person sounds like a guy, looks like a guy and has a guy’s name.

I’m sorry, but you cannot expect everyone who doesn’t know you to automatically know what gender you think you are.
If you present and sound male, you’ll be “he’d”. If you present and sound female, you’ll be “she’d”.
This has been the case since time immortal. It’s not a “social construct”.

If you remain polite and ask courteously to be referred to in the appropriate manner, then 9 times out of 10 you will be. Stand their pretending to be all butthurt and complaining about human rights violations is just going to get you consigned to the “dick head” column and you’ll be dealt with accordingly.

I’m willing to bet this chump’s passport is still male gendered and that the “misgendering” happened after the agent took a look at it and naturally used the gender that is stated in it.

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Lance marrero December 31, 2023 - 4:32 pm

This man did nothing wrong the white man on the flip side just wanted to make a scene he has a dick and balls and no boobs so answer me this if I identify as a white lesbian and I present as a black male will you take me seriously??? There is two genders male and female if you were a er nurse and a patient came to your er and said there water broke and there in labor presents as a male and has a penis and balls would you take them back into labor and delivery??? America has gotten so sensitive and it’s a damn shame that it’s not ok to say what you want people need to be offended this is how we ended up in this mess in the first place . It has opened up the door for sick ass people to whom need to be in a looney bin to just now make shit up . On Monday you can be a fucking farm animal 🦓 Tuesday a 🐈 wensday a 🫖 Thursday a 🧍‍♀️ Friday a Blackman saterday a child and Sunday the First Lady of a church .

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Gary December 31, 2023 - 9:32 pm

I don’y care what the have going on down there,leave me out of it

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