Passenger Rightfully Refuses to Give Up Her Seat for Mother and Two Children

by Anthony Losanno
Passenger Seat

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One of my biggest pet peeves is people who don’t properly plan and then expect others to accommodate them. When I book a flight, I choose a seat. If I’m traveling with someone else or a group, I book seats together. Yes, plans fall apart and last-minute bookings occur, but it should never be expected that someone give up their seat in order to let a party fly together.

@myconquering

Having had only 90 minutes of sleep the night before and knowing I had to give a presentation to 500 people, I desperately needed some sleep, so I did not agree to switch seats. 🤷‍♀️ Before anyone comes after me… the kids looked like they were about 11 and 15 years old. And the mom was in arms-reach of both of them from the middle seat in the row behind us. The mom proceeded to complain for at least 15 minutes to the person next to her loud enough for me to hear. But the woman actually defended me – several times. It was so kind and I appreciated it so much because I was feeling really guilty. 🤦‍♀️ #airplaneseat#seatswitching#airplanekarens

♬ original sound – MyCONQUERing

TikTok user @myconquering shared her recent experience with a seat switching request. The poster booked a window seat. A mother and her two children (ages around 11 and 15) were not seated together. She wanted @myconquering to give up her window seat to take a middle seat a row behind her.

Per her description:

Having had only 90 minutes of sleep the night before and knowing I had to give a presentation to 500 people, I desperately needed some sleep, so I did not agree to switch seats. 

Before anyone comes after me… the kids looked like they were about 11 and 15 years old. And the mom was in arms-reach of both of them from the middle seat in the row behind us.

The mom proceeded to complain for at least 15 minutes to the person next to her loud enough for me to hear. But the woman actually defended me – several times. It was so kind and I appreciated it so much because I was feeling really guilty.” 

Here is My Take:

  • This woman is wrong on all fronts. She should planned better. If not, she should have been ready to fly separate.
  • She should not have badmouthed the passenger who refused to give up her seat after.
  • The only exception is for small children (as in babies, toddlers, and young children) who should not be seated near strangers for both safety and the fact that no one else should have to babysit them.
  • A seat swap should be like for like (i.e. window for window and always the same class of service)

I remember years ago being asked to change seats so that a couple could sit together. The couple asked nicely and I was about to give up my seat (1B) when I asked where the wife was sitting. It turned out to be 22E. There was no way that I was giving up my First Class seat for a middle seat in Economy. The husband stewed during the flight and noise cancelling headphones worked in drowning out his grumbling.

Anthony’s Take: Plan ahead. If you need to switch, ask nicely. But, don’t be surprised if you get denied and don’t complain about the passenger that didn’t give in to your demand.

(Featured Image Credit: @myconquering via TikTok.)

(H/T: View from the Wing.)

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Advertiser & Editorial Disclosure: The Bulkhead Seat earns an affiliate commission for anyone approved through the links above This compensation may impact how and where links appear on this site. We work to provide the best publicly available offers to our readers. We frequently update them, but this site does not include all available offers. Opinions, reviews, analyses & recommendations are the author’s alone, and have not been reviewed, endorsed, or approved by any of these entities.

22 comments

jon July 19, 2023 - 10:17 am

When this happens, I tell the person asking me to give up my aisle seat that due to my bad back and DVT medical history that I need the aisle seat. If that doesn’t work with them I then politely ask them to ask another passenger instead of me. And for some reason they just want to ask me to move, not someone else. I often wonder why I’m selected as opposed to other surrounding passengers.

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Qoheleth July 20, 2023 - 2:06 pm

Jon, you don’t owe the person an explanation or an excuse. If you’re sitting in the seat you paid for, that’s sufficient. You’re free to say either no or yes as you see fit. If the other person demands an explanation why you won’t switch, what they’re saying is that they’re entitled to your seat more than you are, unless you can justify to their satisfaction not switching.

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Hilde July 26, 2023 - 8:43 am

QOHELETH exactly what I was thinking.

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Lowe July 19, 2023 - 11:28 am

Selfish and inconsiderate. Would these people go up to someone at a ballgame or concert and ask them to move to a less desirable seat? Of course not. A plane is no different.

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Barbara July 20, 2023 - 1:10 pm

You should have told her to see if the person next to her in row 22 wanted to switch with her husbands first class seat, then they could both sit together in economy!!

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Ian Soul July 25, 2023 - 4:34 pm

Perfect!

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TDHill July 26, 2023 - 6:14 am

Exactly! I would have laughed out loud at their initial request. “You want me to give up my first class seat for a middle seat in Economy?!” and laughed uproariously. What a joke!

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Mike July 20, 2023 - 6:39 pm

I can’t help but notice that a) the woman just commandeered the seat. You don’t do that. You ask first. And b) why didn’t she commandeer the same type of seat she had…ie, the middle seat? She snaked the window seat because she knows the middle seat sucks. The woman was trying to get a better seat and using her kids as the excuse.

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John July 20, 2023 - 11:15 pm

I empathize with both side. The mother for wanting to sit with her children, the woman for only wanting to switch if it was for an equal trade. This is something that happens often and is clearly something that can be avoided if the airliner would stop charging extra money for the ability to choose a seat. Seriously, I have to pay for a ticket onto the plane and pay again to choose where I want to sit within that area… an upgrade from the middle to a row to a window seat. If a family is flying together, shouldn’t there be an algorithm in this plane seating program that would automatically have them seated together (assuming they buy the tickets early enough that such a condition is possible). Had this been done, the world could have been saved from yet another pointless TikTok video.

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Jay July 31, 2023 - 3:35 pm

You are assuming that the woman in question didn’t pick her seats in advance and the airline randomly assigned them. She may have picked her seats and assumed someone would move if she asked. Also, I don’t sympathize when people don’t get the seats they want because they didn’t want to pay the cost for those seats. In those situations, you are rolling the dice and hope for the best and cannot be upset if things don’t go how you would’ve liked. When I’m traveling with a group and we would like to sit together, we pick seats accordingly. If there aren’t any that are together, we will see each other when we arrive.

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Alistair July 21, 2023 - 9:55 am

I could get my wife into an economy plus seat with me but not my two kids as well. They were similar age as those mentioned. We left them in the back. At one point a steward came up and said “are those your kids back there”. Yes we said. “They are so well behaved was the response”.

She just needs to raise her kids better and know that kids need to be given an opportunity of independence and not mothered all the time.

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Snap July 25, 2023 - 2:47 pm

I’m sure the mother, when she made reservations, thought she could bully her way into that seat instead of choosing three seats together further back.

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Bren Ram July 25, 2023 - 5:22 pm

I would never give up my seat. Plan ahead, or choose another flight if you can’t find seats together. No one should change seats for a rude passenger like this.

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Ken July 25, 2023 - 3:12 pm

Entitled people like that Mom under these circumstances should simply not travel and inconvenience other people

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guy July 25, 2023 - 3:27 pm

I plan ahead as I book an aisle seat and in no way would I give up my seat. Also, I’m a bit claustrophobic..

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Justy July 25, 2023 - 4:20 pm

I had a flight eons ago where I had an aisle seat in economy PHL to DEN. The person in the middle (a pastor) asked if we could switch as he had taken some meds that would require him to have to get up frequently to use the lav. I said OK rather than have to get up & down a bunch. Fast forward to end of flight….he did not get up one time. Yeah I still remember it & while I will switch seats like for like I no longer move to middle or even window. Fool me once… 🙂

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roberto July 25, 2023 - 5:08 pm

the elephant in the room? I would definitely be willing to bet what political party the “entitled, unprepared, blame everyone else” mother is affiliated with

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CO Roy July 25, 2023 - 5:17 pm

Totally agree, like for like or better. And that is in the eyes of the person who is being asked to move. An exit row Y seat is not the same as an non-exit row Y seat in most cases. Now if you you want to offer me an F seat in exchange for my exit row Y seat, I would certainly consider that. And the same thing happens up front, with someone in a bulkhead F seat wanting to shift to a non-bulkhead F seat; that’s not like for like, IMHO.

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jsn55 July 25, 2023 - 7:51 pm

You can do whatever you wish in situations like this. To feel ‘guilty’ about denying a request is just dumb. Unless you enjoy people pushing you around, of course. Let the woman yap loudly and make an ass of herself, it’s no concern of yours. Faced with a request you don’t want to grant, everyone should remember this response: “No, sorry”. No conversation, no engagement, just go about your business. This is one of the reasons you travel with headphones and music. The dopes of the world are everywhere.

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PeacefulAntimasker July 25, 2023 - 10:21 pm

In these situations I ask “how much you got?” An eye roll later and sigh, they give up.

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TDHill July 26, 2023 - 6:16 am

Love it! Good one!

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Dee More July 26, 2023 - 11:47 am

Children of that age should not be allowed to fly at all. They love to create a disturbance so you will notice them. Alternatively, you should have a “childrens” section where all the yahoo’s can sit and disturb each other. And NEVER should they be allowed in business.

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